The person you love the most have the best capacity to make you the happiest person in the world and may give you the worst heartache you can ever imgaine

Im Still Not Convinced... Perhaps It Would Be Better for Me to Turn Away

there are so many stuffs within me that i have to let it off... but i dunno how to get it started...

im in such a confused state... so lost... but i shall try though..

why do the same things keep happenin again and again...

it has only been slightly two weeks after the time i felt like givin up, and i felt the same thing again strongly last friday... imgaine, me feeling so strong of doin smth 2 times in 2 weeks... it shows how bad it really is...

i cant emphasise even more how much i hate it when u dun do wad u say..

u promised me again and again that u would change, that u never do it again but it was just all empty words.. why do u always have to make mistakes and then say sorry to me... it happened way too many times.. it is almost like you are making "saying sorry" your habit... it showed pretty much of your character...

i cant trust anymore now...

it will take me for a long time to fully trust/believe again...

also, like i have always said, each time we quarrel, each time the "B" word comes out, i am learning to start letting go of everything... in my previous post, i have mentioned that "i am ready to give it all up" and i guessed that i have really done that... more or less, i have already let everything go...

perhaps, this is why im feelin this great confusion within me....

though we are back together again, but i definitely cant say that everything is in place again..

NO WAY!!!

no doubt that you have been treating me pretty nice all this while and it took me a long time to trust and believe in you...

however, you disappointed me time and time again...

for me, to be able to stay in a relationship for long enough would be gaining my trust fully and i can believe in you without any doubts...

will that happen all depends on you..

i really have no idea of what to do next...

take it step by step perhaps?

THE CONFUSIONS WITHIN